Second Wave of Processing: July- onward – I reached the point where I could look back at the suffering we’d gone through, realizing that God was there all along, astonished and amazed that He considered us worthy enough to suffer for Him, and say to Him, humbly and with tears, “I’d do it all over again if You want me to, in a heartbeat.”
Third Wave: God helped me realize that pride and arrogance had been issues with me during part of this journey – as somewhat of a knee-jerk reaction to all the criticism we received for not doing missions the “standard way”.
Fourth Wave: When I seriously didn’t think there could be anymore processing left to experience, God gave me even more. While I was going through Beth Moore’s John the Beloved Disciple study, a concept came up that was profoundly meaningful to me:
“The very thing that set John apart and made him the fertile soil into which God could sow the seeds of such a gospel, such epistles, and such a revelation – John remained nearby Jesus…, (John is the only disciple that we’re told stood nearby Jesus throughout His trial/beatings/crucifixion) stood nearby when human reason implied that his faithful Leader’s mission had failed… If we’re willing to be taken to the extreme of His glory where we gain intimate knowledge, we will undoubtedly see Him in situations that we cannot explain and that sometimes disturb. Then the question: what will we do when we can’t explain what Jesus is doing? Based on earthly evidence, human reasoning concludes that He is either mean or weak. Will we stand by faith when human logic says to run?”
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