#3 or "I no longer know how long we've been traveling."

As i write this, we’ve just boarded a cruise ship bound for Ireland. Also known as a ferry, but hey, it’s as good as a cruise ship to me! We have enjoyed our short stay in bonnie Scotland, and i do mean bonnie. Traveling over highways has always lulled me to sleep, but it’s hard to allow myself to sleep when there’s so much beauty everywhere. So here’s my recap of this last week:

Tuesday: in Northampton; Richard picked us up and drove us to the bus station, where i said goodbye to my 2 boys as they headed to Newcastle-upon-Tyne to start their hike of Hadrian’s Wall. Rainy morning. The bus station was in the towne centre, so i spent a couple of hours exploring the mall, the market, and the pedestrian street as far as Tesco’s (grocery store). Bought a bunch of tasty cherry tomato’s for 1GBP at the market. Ate early lunch at Subway (going for the cheap). Took bus back home to Elaine’s. Spent the rest of my time till Wednesday evening at home sorting out my own travel arrangements and watching the Beth Moore simulcast.

The Northampton Town Centre Market

Northampton Town Centre

Pal on his second European journey with his buddy Andrew

Wednesday: Richard’s wife, Denise, picked me up late afternoon to take me back to their home for dinner and company (yay!). She made some kind of yumminess-casserole with chipolata (similar to sausage links but not as greasy), “rasher” bacon, red onion, leeks, butter beans, and topped with bread crumbs. I couldn’t get enough. 

     Meanwhile, after spending the night in a cheap hotel, Randall & Andrew caught a bus to the Sagedunum Roman Fort museum to learn about Roman life on the frontier of the empire, toured the actual ruins of a Roman fort, saw a reconstructed section of the wall, and got to watch archaeologists actually uncovering parts of the wall. They officially started their hike around noon and made it 8 miles before Randall's knee gave out, then he hobbled for 3 more before stopping for the night. They pitched their tent along the path, literally, just off to the side. By this time Randall’s knee was in so much pain that he was doubtful about continuing on with the hike.

At the Sagedunum Roman fort museum

They literally set up their tent by the path. Andrew sent me this text:  "Just like in The Way - we're sleeping on the path."

Thursday: Had a text from Randall waiting for me when i woke up saying he'd spent the night in excruciating pain so there was no way he’d be able to continue on with the hike, and they’d be catching a bus to meet me in Annan, Scotland. Richard drove all my luggage and me to the train station to begin my journey. Missed my stop in Carlisle because in my distraction of trying to maneuver all my luggage around this guy standing in the doorway with a large buggy, i didn’t realize i needed to push the button to open the door and i couldn’t see past him to even see whether we’d pulled into the station. All this time on this trip we’d never gone more than about 20 minutes between stops. So when the lady at the snack bar said we’d already pulled out of the Carlisle station and that the next stop was Glasgow 1 1/2 hours away, i got a little unnerved. She called the conductor, who helped me/all my luggage find another seat, looked up the information to get me on a return train to Annan, then brought me Pepsis and treats. When we got off at Glasgow, she led me to an employee and explained the situation, and he took me to the first class lounge to wait the 45 minutes, then he came back to escort me to my train. It was all quite delightful, almost. Because here i was, mistakenly in Glasgow and not able to stay. 

     But i did eventually make it to Annan a few hours after my boys arrived, so they’d already had time to check into the b&b, shower and eat dinner before i arrived. My dinner after arrival? Steak pie at Cafe Royal=yumminess!

The Annan train station

Friday:  explored town, went to the Annan museum. While Andrew & i were upstairs looking around, Randall was chatting with the curator downstairs about his family history research. Then a lady walked in, and the curator exclaimed, “Now here’s just the person you need to talk to!” To say the 82-year-old Mary R. is an expert on Scottish history and family geneology would be an understatement. She whisked him off to the library for some research while i went down the street in search of a mocha at the coffee shop. When Randall finally caught up with me, he said she’d offered to take us to Dumfries the next day for some further research, and she’d pick us up at 10:45. 

     Following her suggestion, we walked over and up to Mott and Bailey, where Robert the Bruce used to have his fort. 

We went through this gate to reach the top of Robert the Bruce's Mott and Bailey

The River Annan

    

  Ate dinner at Cafe Royal again. Trying to frequent the same places as much as possible in order to get to know people better. Best. Fish & chips. Ever.

This plaque is on the wall outside the Cafe Royal restaurant entrance. Robert Burns 

Saturday: Well Ms. R. is quite the authority! She drove us all over the countryside today, and there was not one thing Randall pointed to that she didn’t know something about; not one house, one field, one hill, one barn, and she has family connections to nearly everything. They never did have any luck with the family history research, but we definitely got a tour of the Dumfries-Moffat-Lockerbie area. She even pulled the car off the side of the road, went up to a tower house that her ancestors had some connection with, and asked the lady there if we could see the inside! Turns out the lady there was the one who had renovated it and was waiting on a potential renter to look at it. It was quite posh on the inside.

This photo doesn't do justice to the full height of the tower house.

An Ecclefechan Tart, anyone? (short e-klu-fe-kun {the u's are shwas}. Ms. R. gave us each one of these; it has  fruit & nuts in it, and is named for the town near Annan.

     When i finally told her i was ready to call it a day because i had laundry to figure out, she offered to let us do our washing at her house. Then while the second load was in the dryer, we all went to Cafe Royal again for dinner. 

     Now, i have no idea why the Lord provided that opportunity in Annan, but we sure weren’t seeking it out. I asked her if she goes to church anywhere because we were uncertain about where we’d go the next day, but she said no, she’s a member at one of them but never goes.

Sunday:  Went to church just a few paces down the street from our b&b, St. Andrew’s Parish Church of Scotland (nearly every Church of Scotland we saw was named after St. Andrew - he is Scotland’s favorite). Had no idea what to expect, but it was surprisingly similar to our services in the U.S. (except for the robed minister and the organ). We stayed afterward for tea and biscuits (cookies) and had a very pleasant visit with the minister till everyone was gone. 

Walking to church, which is just on the other side of the trees in front of Randall's head. I'm thinking we can document Andrew's growth on this trip by watching his pant length, because he wears the same pair of pants to church every Sunday. :-)

Today was their Harvest Sunday, so towards the end of the service they had the children come out to do a special presentation of food items they brought for the "harvest table." It was really cute.

     

Spent the afternoon trying to make travel arrangements for our next journey. Not easy! I enjoy traveling from place to place, and i enjoy exploring a place for a time, but i’m finding out that making the arrangements is a pain in the neck. It’s difficult to do this on an extremely limited budget and as we go. This way of traveling is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea.

     Had dinner one more time at Cafe Royal, then stopped by the church to say hiya/goodbye to the minister. (People here say hiya for hi.)

And that brings us to today. Got on a bus in Annan for Dumfries, got on another bus to Strenraer, got on another bus to the ferry, and now we’re on the ferry to Belfast. Then we’ll have to figure out where to go to get on the bus to Dublin. And i kid you not, as i live and breathe, while i was on the ferry typing this, a lady walked up to us and said, “I know you; you go to Mt. Comfort, don’t you?” (in Fayetteville) “Well, not anymore, but we used to.” She’s Susie Lamb. We didn’t know her, but she recognized us. Craziness! On the ferry between Scotland and Ireland.

Random thoughts from this last week:

- I'm quite certain that the sheep outnumber the people in England & Scotland

- Overall, people in England & Scotland are just super-nice and helpful

- It is mostly impossible, i believe, to capture the exquisite beauty that is everywhere - every bridge, every river/creek/babbling brook, every hillside, every blade of grass - with a camera. 

- I love the actual traveling around from place to place, mostly, and i love being in a new place, but i strongly dislike working out the logistics of getting from one place to another. Also laundry. Laundry is hard when traveling.

- Twenty days is how long it took me to "hit a wall" with traveling like this. Today is day 21.

#2

This is just going to be a short post, i think, and not as lighthearted as last week's as i've spent all day dealing with one crisis after another, some minor and one in particular not so minor. My only goals for today were to school Andrew, do laundry, pack us up to part ways tomorrow, and catch up on communication (such as this post). School - check (except that i just realized that i packed the wrong logic book - one that he'd already completed :-(); laundry - check (although cause for one of the minor crises - i hate trying to figure out European washers - there's no logic to them at all!); packing=check (except for the clothes that are still hang-drying by the gas wall heater); communication=we'll see if i get this completed. Oh, and that little matter of figuring out what I'm going to do once R & A leave for their hike. That would be the not-so-minor crisis i've been dealing with most of today.

Their bus for Newcastle-upon-Tyne leaves in the morning at 9:05. They won't arrive till 3:30, so they'll have to start their hike on Wednesday morning. I'd always pictured that by now some super-cool opportunity would have popped up for me to do while they're gone, but alas, here it is 12 hours away and i have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do or where i'm going to go. I keep hitting walls everywhere i turn. Going back to London to spend more time with the Olivers & Sams is not an option because it'd be too expensive and because i still can't find any rooms available near them. It seemed to make sense to go on up to Annan, Scotland where R & A plan to end their hike, but there are several walls blocking my way there too. Fortunately i just found out a short time ago that i can continue to stay where i am in Northampton, so i may stay put for at least a couple more days. I'm just major-bummed; feeling very alone and stressed out.

As far as this last week, it's not been too bad. Here's a quick run-down of what we did since my last post:
Tuesday - went to the British Museum, then over to the Olivers' for one more visit before leaving town.
Wednesday - took the coach from Victoria Station to Southampton because another lady from my Christian, mostly-homeschooling, mums facebook group had invited us to come stay with her family. So we did. Nigel & Leonie have 5 children, 3 of them under 6. We slept in their loft schoolroom on air mattresses that had been loaned to her by yet another member from the fb group (but whom i didn't get to meet). I'm really loving English hospitality so far. These people, most of whom we'd never met till this trip, have rolled out the red carpet for us.
Thursday - Leonie took us to an abby ruin, Titchfield Abby to have a look around, and then to the English Channel beach near Portsmouth. She invited us to accompany their 15-year-old son, Brandon, to his "Cadets" meeting that evening, which was similar to our ROTC. Quite interesting, as that wasn't an activity that i'd pictured doing when we visited England. But it was good.

Friday - Brandon was preparing to make some brownies when he discovered that a bag of flour had spilled into the bottom of a cabinet. I have no idea how exactly it happened, but one thing led to another and i ended up spending the rest of the day and part of Saturday morning reorganizing Leonie's kitchen. My third kitchen in 3 weeks! I guess maybe just call me the kitchen fairy, i don't know. But i do know that she invited me to do it, i didn't just take over. She said they'd moved into this house 1 1/2 years ago when she was recovering from a c-section and couldn't do anymore than just quickly get stuff put anywhere, and has been so busy with her 5 children that she's never had time to go back and sort it all out.

The English use a lot of different flours!

Saturday - Leonie offered to drive us to Northampton because she could get us here so much faster than the bus could (see what i'm talking about - that English hospitality?) So we got here mid-afternoon, and since our friend Richard had plans till 5:30, he'd arranged for us to go to another church member's house till he could get by to pick us up. So Johnson and his 2 adorable children, Rachel and Darius, babysat us for a couple of hours, and honestly he didn't stop feeding us the whole time we were there. Then Richard picked us up, took us by his house for a few minutes, then took us over to his mother-in-law's home where we are house-sitting till tomorrow. Or later, for me apparently.

Those eyes! Can you EVEN?

And Rachel's smile!

Sunday - Richard had invited Randall to preach at the church in Northampton, so he happily did. The church was packed, which it normally is; they have 110+ members, i think. Wonderful service and wonderful people all around. Afterward, since his wife was sick at home, Richard took us out to a wonderful restaurant where we had a traditional English dinner of roast beef (roast turkey for A and roast lamb for R) and Yorkshire pudding. Then he took us to nearby Olney to the church where John Newton (Amazing Grace) and Thomas Cowper used to serve and write hymns.

Richard & Randall

The Church of St Peter & St Paul in Olney

So stay tuned to find out how the Big Hike goes, and what i end up doing while they're traipsing around the English countryside.

First Days

So here’s where i try to journal what’s going on with us as we travel through Europe seeking what God is doing, in a way that other people actually want to read. Because i don’t consider myself an engaging writer. Some people can make the most mundane things sound so exciting and funny; i feel like i just sound like a whiner. But the purpose of this is not to sound whiney. The nature of our travels is NOT that of the normal tourist or the latest family blogging their way around the world. I’m expecting this adventure to be full of difficulties, messes, thrills, and blessings. I don’t even know how frequently i’ll be able to post entries as it will depend on wi-fi connections and just overall craziness. But several people have asked for travel updates, so here goes my attempt. Enjoy!

First Day: The flight over here went really well, other than the fact that when one flies coach class one is squeezed in like sardines. We do not take for granted that we incurred no baggage fees, and even though we were asked several questions by “border force” that made me think the other shoe was going to drop at any moment, we got through with no problems. Our friend Oliver was there to meet us with 3 of his 7 children. He took us by a giant travel plaza-food court and bought us McDonald’s coffee treats, then on to his home where we spent the afternoon visiting with he & Leah and all their children. After dinner, Oliver drove us to our hotel. Now things are not going quite so perfectly.

At the time i made these hotel reservations (which are, in fact, the only reservations we made for this entire trip), we were hoping to book a place somewhere in/near Woolwich (a borough of London) so we’d be convenient to the Olivers & Sams. But as luck would have it, the Olivers were busy with sick, whooping-cough children and having their 7th baby, so they were unavailable to advise us about hotel locations. Booking a hotel was turning out to be no easy task as any that were remotely affordable were not available for our dates. We finally booked a hotel in Croyden (another borough), thinking partly that it couldn’t be that far away, and that maybe God had a reason for not having us any closer anyway. This is a Spirit-led trip, after all. The difference on the map of London is that Woolwich is basically on the central-southeast side, and Croyden is south. In reality, it takes no less than 1 hour to drive it, either by car or by bus. So when he dropped us off, we knew we were on our own for a few days. 

Also, and i know many of you are going to bristle at this news, we came here expecting to pay cash for nearly everything this first month, because we’d done our research and decided that cash was very often better than card. And we knew that the international exchange rate for dollars to pounds was around $1.50. However, we didn’t know that the reality of exchanging the dollars would be a minimum of $1.68/1 pound. Ouch! So that basically means that we give away nearly half of our cash to non-needy people in order to be able to function in their country. And for the first 2 days we’ve been here, we’ve not been allowed to cash more than 100 pounds/day. Thankfully our hotel has allowed us to pay as we go.

All of that, combined with other nuisances with this hotel, and we looked into finding another hotel somewhere closer to Woolwich, but so far, still, nothing is available. 

Thursday, our first full day in London, our only 3 goals for the day were to figure out where to get food and local cash, re-pack our suitcases to fit this trip (we had packed them solely based on carry-on/check-on restrictions), and to rest. We did all 3 fairly well, except for finding better exchange rates for cash, so we decided to take the bus to the city center (Regent Street) hoping to find more banks to choose from. We purchased our oyster cards, figured out where to go to get on the correct bus, and rode 1 1/2 hours to get to downtown. We really didn’t plan on getting off the bus till we saw a bank, but the bus forced us off at “the end of the line” at Regent Street. We walked around in all the frenzy that feeds the Global Fashion Industry; no banks. Trying to get back on the correct bus proved to be quite the ordeal, walking around looking for the correct stop, standing on a somewhat dark street after 8:00 for around 25 minutes, then another 1 1/2 hours back to our local bus stop, then the 15 minute walk to our hotel, and the 5 minute walk from the hotel lobby to our room via a series of halls, stairs, and doors. 

Friday something between jet lag and culture shock hit me, and i didn’t want to get out of bed all morning. I did get myself ready, did some stretches, finished watching my first Bible study lesson (I’m doing Beth Moore’s Breath, a video study on the Holy Spirit), and then it was back in bed for me for most of the morning. Thinking, “i can’t believe we thought of something so reckless as this.”, “This is going to be a disaster.” “What are we even supposed to do?”

Saturday, Andrew did a couple of subjects for school in the morning, then we met Sam  and his young son, Caleb, so they could take us on a private canal tour!  (Almost) Perfect afternoon! We walked for about 2 miles along the canal, bought our (picnic-style) lunch at Tesco (grocery), then visited Sam's dad, who lives on a canal boat (his mom was out for the afternoon). Then Sam drove us to his house and we met Bethan and their other 3 children, and had dinner, and then he drove us back to our hotel. 

Sunday, despite our best-laid plans to get to Oliver & Leah's church on time in Woolwich, we were 30 minutes late. We left our hotel at 8:30 to walk to the train station by 9:00, but the train we'd expected to take apparently doesn't run on Sundays? Even though the internet schedule didn't say that? So we were told to take a different route, except we got on the wrong train and ended up at Victoria Station (opposite direction of Woolwich). This happened because Randall had not had his coffee yet, so he & Andrew bought their espresso in Victoria Station, and on we went. We had to finagle our way to the Woolwich station, where Leah picked us up to take us to church. We got there during the prayer right before Oliver's sermon. 

When church was over we'd been invited to stay for lunch with Sam & Bethan & littles. Cottage pie = so yum! Since the church doesn't have wifi and we couldn't FaceTime with Emily, we just texted back & forth so she could "join us for lunch," sending a pic of us at the table and her sending us a pic of her as she was ready to leave for church. Then we girls went over to Leah's for a bit, then back to the church for tea & cakes, then evening service, then more tea & cakes, then back to Oliver & Leah's so Randall could spray their house (several months ago a couple of guests left them an unwanted gift of roaches, and Leah had been anxiously awaiting our arrival so Randall could take care of it. The demand for his services has gone international!). While littles were being put to bed and Leah was emptying out her kitchen and Randall was supervising the clean-out, we face timed with Emily = totally fun. It was after 10:00 when Oliver got us back to our hotel, but what a fabulous day of awesome fellowship. 

Tips i've learned so far:

-It might sound creepy to fly across the ocean to visit people whom you only know through facebook, but actually it’s not much different than people visiting pen pals over previous decades and even centuries. 

-This is the cereal to eat in Europe. THere’s simply nothing better.

   -Riding the upper level of double decker buses, especially at the very front row, is a great way to see everyday London life in action. 

    - Everybody in London seems to know how to work together to navigate traffic without getting hit or killed, meaning pedestrians,  cyclists, car drivers, and bus drivers. It’s nothing short of amazing.

-When going for a walk along the canal with a London friend, these are not the shoes to wear.  

(This pic doesn't show the terrain we walked on for 2 miles

to get to this point.)

 - I may or may not have been willing to sell my birthright for a pair of flip flops at Tesco’s, but unfortunately they didn’t have any.

      - When you find yourself with blisters all over your feet because of the beautiful ballet flats that have not been sufficiently broken in yet and Tesco’s doesn’t have flip flops, socks work nicely too. Even in London. 

P.S. Moleskins and band-aids do not help in this situation.

Making Radical Changes to Meet Radical Issues

Over the years i’ve become more and more of what i like to call “a mindful shopper.” It started years ago when Emily was just a tot, buying organic food as much as i could afford, using butter instead of margarine or spread, buying locally made bread instead of the fluff-stuff from the grocery store. Then it was trying to avoid GMOs, so that meant either buying organic or at least choosing the brands that were specifically labeled “non-gmo.” Then i found out so much of our chocolate (and other food) is made by child and/or slave labor, so i started shopping with that issue in mind. At about the same time, there were reports coming out that companies like Starbucks and Kraft (under the Senomyx company) were using aborted fetal tissue in their research & development, so we started boycotting those companies. (It wasn’t long before i read an article that said Starbucks had cut the ties with Senomyx, so i went back to patronizing them. Guess i was wrong.) So, while still trying to live on a very limited budget, i did what i could to make sure i was feeding and supplying my family with products that were healthy as well as not adding to the oppression of others around the world.

Last week i made the statement that i couldn’t understand what all the frenzy was about concerning this latest revelation that Planned Parenthood has been selling dead baby parts to a number of companies, because i couldn’t get past the knowledge that the babies are being murdered in the first place. I’m sure i inadvertently gave the impression that i didn’t care about what was being done with these babies after they are mercilessly and brutally ripped from their mother’s womb and and then dismembered and shipped off to be done who-knows-what with (seriously, do we really know the full extent to which they use the dead baby parts?).

In fact, i have been in shock and unable to get this off my mind. I stated in my post that i would be referring to the list of 38 (or 40, or 41, or 77, whichever it is) companies that support PP. Indeed, that very day and the next couple of days i discovered that many of my family’s personal care and household products are, in fact, made by these very companies that support PP. Unilever makes our Tresemme hair gel & mousse and our Caress & Dove body washes. Johnson & Johnson makes my Aveeno cleanser, moisturizer and shampoo. I never buy anything but Charmin bath tissue, but yesterday i discovered that Charmin is made by Proctor & Gamble. 

So a few days ago i went to Ulta, a major beauty supply chain store, to see what more ethical options there were. It was nothing but deflating and discouraging. I was focused that day on just finding a new face cleanser because i was nearly out, and almost every cleanser brand i picked up was made by Unilever or Johnson & Johnson. Even Burt”s Bees - ah, surely Burt”s Bees will be safe - is a subsidiary of Clorox (also on the list of PP donors)! 

So my point in all this is, i am astounded and overwhelmed how wide-spread and far-reaching these PP “business” practices are. And being the sort of analyzer who naturally looks at the big picture, i’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out how we got here, as a nation, a society, where we can’t even buy normal everyday, non-hoity-toity products from companies without indirectly supporting an organization that murders babies and then sells their body parts. How did we get to this place? No doubt there are many factors, but the one i keep coming back to is that we as a society are too materialistic, consumeristic, greedy, self-indulgent. I know the same could be said for every society since the beginning of time and that’s true, but seriously? Has there ever been a time in history comparable to today? Can you seriously and honestly look at where we are today and say that it’s the same as always? A culture or society or generation where nearly every single person has such an extreme sense of entitlement? 

We want things at the cheapest price possible so that we can have as many things as possible.

How often do we go to whatever store and see things that are new or on sale or clearance and just buy them without thinking about where they came from or what went into making them. 

We’ve got to change that mentality. What does it take to get by? What is the minimum? For instance, do i really need to have 5000 recipes in 50 different cookbooks and magazines in order to adequately feed my family of 4? Because my habit is to go through some of my favorite-but-not-used-very-often cookbooks looking for Great Ideas for Something Different, make my shopping list based upon said ideas, buy necessary ingredients, then after several days i can’t even remember what recipe i bought that wheat bran/oat bran/rice wine vinegar/red wine vinegar for.

There is already so much material written about our spending-storing-hoarding-wasting-polluting habits, so i’ll not waste much time addressing it except to say, this is where it’s gotten us. And it’s not just this latest issue with PP that’s at stake here. It’s the slave-trade industry, it’s GMOs, it’s so many other social issues. 

What i know is, until last week, i was a mindful shopper trying to make sure my dollars were being spent to bless and not oppress others, and now, after this revelation, i’m thinking that i’m just flat buying too much stuff. And our family doesn’t even buy nearly as much stuff as the average Western family because we’ve purposely tried to live simply, without accumulating much stuff, so we’d be ready to go whenever God called us to something else. We live in an apartment, by choice. Every single piece of furniture we own was a hand-me-down with the exception of my cedar chest, and that was my high school graduation present from my parents, made by my classmate, Steve Ball, as a project for his shop class. We also bought 3 pieces from a thrift store/consignment store/friend-of-a-friend; the rest were given to us. The majority of the clothes in our closets come from second-hand shops. And still, i am now thinking that we, our family, just need to radically put a plug on buying stuff.

I have no idea yet how i’m actually going to carry this out. For now it’ll be a little bit easier just because we happen to already be moving out of our apartment by the end of August. My plan already was to spend next week gathering every. single. thing. into one area - the living & dining area - sort it all into categories (decor, books, kitchen, etc.), figure out what i don’t have to have anymore and how to bless someone else with it (or throw it away if it’s not useable), then box and store what’s left till we get back from our trip. One thing i don’t want to do is get rid of something thinking that it’ll be easier to just replace it when we get moved. That’s defeating the goal of buying less stuff. But i also don’t want to have to move and store a whole bunch of stuff, so it’s tricky.

But here’s what i do know: something has to change. HUGE changes. We as a family cannot go on buying/accumulating/storing/moving/wasting/rinse & repeat all until we die. We can’t. There is now too much at stake. Unborn babies lives. Slave children’s lives. Oppressed women’s lives. The working poor’s lives. This is going to take lots of time to research and figure out, and time is something i don’t have much of right now with moving/getting Emily moved back to college/getting ready for our trip. But we need to start by buying fewer things. 

I’m hoping more people will do likewise. We need to wake up and affirm to the world that abortion is not ok. The abortion industry has got to go. And maybe you have other ideas for bucking the system. It’d be fun to share ideas of what’s working and what’s not. I would love to hear them.

Why We Choose Not to Vaccinate

I would guess that most people who have known us for any length of time know that we have 3 children, 1 of whom is in in the arms of Jesus. Many people know the majority of the story, and there are still a few of you reading this who actually walked through that season with us, and you may be thinking, "Huh? I didn't know Molly's death had ANYTHING to do with vaccinations."  There are very few who know about the association of Molly's death with immunizations, because we have rarely brought it up.  I guess just about the only time it's ever brought up anymore is when we have to start with a new doctor for our children, and invariably the doctor asks if our children are up to date on their shots.  Along with my "no" response i always say, "My children seem to be in that so-called 'low-risk' category of severe reactions."  When i explain that our first baby died following shots and Emily nearly died following shots, (so far) i have never had so much as a strange look, a rebuttal, a reprimand; the doctor thankfully moves on.

So if you're just getting to know us and have no idea who Molly is or even what the bare bones of the story is - Molly Beth was our first baby, born on May 9, 1994.  It was several hours before we learned that she had Down's Syndrome and A.V.Canal Defect, a common heart defect that is also very common to down's children.  We were told she'd need to have surgery at some later point, and were sent to AR Children's Hospital for a consultation a couple weeks later.  The surgery date would depend on how quickly she gained enough weight to withstand heart surgery.

On July 8 she had a heart catheterization, after which they reported that it was pretty much like they expected - a couple more little holes than they'd originally thought, but not a big deal - surgery expected to go well.  The date still wasn't set yet because she'd not yet gained enough weight.  A week later, on July 14, she had her 2-month shots as recommended by her pediatrician.  Two days later, on Saturday evening,  i was calling the doctor in a panic because, after crying in the backseat of the car for just a couple of minutes, she was soaked with sweat (a sign of heart failure).  He told me to bring her into the office first thing Monday morning, and surgery was set for September 1.

The heart cath on July 8 was the last major test they did on her before surgery.  The only thing that had been stressed to us repeatedly was that her recovery was likely to be a roller-coaster of ups and downs, that there was no way to predict how long it would take her to recover.  Not one medical professional indicated that there was anything unusual to be concerned about beyond the fact that open-heart surgery was being done on a not-quite-4-month-old-baby who weighed just barely over 9 lbs. "This surgery is done hundreds of times in this hospital every year; it's a very familiar surgery," one of the doctors told us.

On the morning of September 1, i sang "Jesus Loves Me" and the rest of my usual repertoire  to Molly, then Randall & i carried her as we were escorted down to the surgery area.  My friend, Diane, who worked at ACH, accompanied us as well.  We handed her over with tears, then went  to wait with the family in the surgery waiting room.  Someone from the surgery team called us after a while to let us know they had cut into her and started the surgery.

I don't remember the length of time we waited - i think it was only 2-3 hours - but at some point the anesthesiologist came to our waiting room to talk with us.  I instinctively knew this was not a good sign.  I remember looking around at everyone's faces in disbelief as i heard "there are more holes than we thought... her heart is like swiss cheese... there's no way to repair it... don't know how she survived this long... we'll have to close her up and put her on a heart-lung machine... 30% chance of survival".

I SO clearly remember wondering and asking, "What about all the tests that were done? Why did they not show this?"  All i got was the doctor shaking his head and saying he didn't know.

So, on September 8, after 1 week in the ECMO unit, showing no signs of improvement, her kidneys showing signs of shutting down, we were told she needed to be taken off.  One of the nurses put a bow in her hair, and they gave Randall and me a chance to hold her one more time (see photo of me holding her).  I finally handed her back and we had to wait outside the room while the surgical procedure was done to remove her from the ECMO unit.  She died immediately.

Fast forward now to 15 months later.  December 14, 1995, Emily Anne was 4 months old when i took her to the doctor to get her shots.  Five days later she and i were at home, she'd just awakened from a morning nap, and i picked her up and immediately started getting her ready to go, as i had plans of going to the mall.  I carried her around the house for a minute, not really looking at her face until i laid her down on the couch to put her snowsuit on.  I nearly collapsed at the sight of her.  She was "awake", but her lips were the color of death (remembering Molly).  I practically panicked; Randall and i had taken an infant CPR class when i was pregnant with her, but at least at that time, they didn't teach you what to do when your baby is "awake" but obviously not breathing right.  I couldn't even remember Randall's phone number to call him.  I called the ambulance, then remembered Randall's number.  It took until we got to the hospital before she began to stabilize.  They kept her overnight to run tests and monitor her.  The doctor called it a "near-miss with SIDS" (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and put her on a heart monitor for the next 6 months.

                                                 (*Note the wires from the heart monitor)

Fast forward again to approximately 1 year - 15 months later.  I stumbled onto a book about vaccinations, looked at the contents and saw a section on SIDS, wondered what on earth did vaccinations have to do with SIDS.  Literally, one day i had NO idea there was any controversy over vaccinations; the next i was weeping and grieving and angry over the insanity of what i was reading.  I already knew that Emily's near-miss had occurred so close to her 4-month shots.  I dug out Molly's shot record and discovered the undeniable time connection between her 2-month shots and when she first started experiencing heart failure.  I did not base my conclusions on just the one book; i read everything i could find.  I ordered all of Molly's medical records from Children's Hospital, the local hospital where she was born, and her pediatrician's office.

I must emphasize here at this point - nothing in any of the medical records indicate a connection between Molly's 2-month vaccinations and her death.  Her death certificate states the cause of death being "Complete A.V. Canal Defect/Trisomy 21."  There is nothing in Emily's medical records that ties her 4-month shots to the near-miss with SIDS 5 days later.  If Molly had NOT had the shots, would she have survived the surgery?  I don't know.  It's impossible to say. However, i CANNOT reconcile the discrepancy between the heart cath report and the actual surgery report, with shots and almost immediate signs of heart failure in between, PLUS Emily's experience. This is a matter of two children in the same family having fatal and near-fatal reactions to vaccinations.  Is it any wonder then that we've chosen to never do vaccinations again.  Emily has not had a single shot since i uncovered this...and Andrew has never had a single shot, at all.  And, i might add, Andrew has always been crazy healthy.

But i must also emphasize, why would there be indications in the medical records?  How many times has there ever been a connection made by the doctor between the vaccinations and the resulting calamity, without a fight?

I also must emphasize very strongly that i'm not trying to convince everyone that vaccinations should be eliminated/outlawed.  I'm sure they have their purpose (although there is a disclaimer to that below).  What i do believe is that every parent must, MUST be informed!  Do your research.  Think it through.  Pray about it. Decide what is best for your children.  If you decide that you'd rather risk the complications than risk the disease itself, then do it, and be at peace with it.  If your child suffers complications as a result of the vaccination, don't beat yourself up with guilt. Fortunately i never suffered guilt from giving Molly her vaccinations because i know i did it in complete ignorance.

But here's the flip side of the controversy, and the reason i chose to finally go public with our story.  Just because you've done your research and you believe your children should be immunized, DON'T criticize or judge ME because i choose NOT to.  Just yesterday i saw a conversation on facebook where one person was complaining about parents who send their children to school despite being sick, and another responded with a complaint about parents who don't get their children and themselves vaccinated. I cannot speak for everyone who refuses vaccines, but of the many people we know who refuse vaccines we are NOT irresponsible, we are NOT lazy, we are NOT idiots, we are NOT trying to be rebels.  These decisions have been made through education and prayer. Vaccinations are already pushed by the medical community; why do people think they have to campaign on facebook and other public forums for mass immunizations as well?

We do not believe there should ever be legislation taking away a parent's rights to choose what they believe is right for their children.  Randall & i have done our research, we have thought it through, and we have decided that we'd rather risk the disease than the vaccine.  Many people would argue that our unvaccinated children are putting their vaccinated children at risk.  This is something that didn't make sense to me even before i had children: if in your mind the vaccines are doing what they are supposed to be doing, then why are you worried about your child getting the disease?  Shouldn't it be my child who is more at risk? If your vaccinated child contracts the disease from my unvaccinated child, then what's the point in the vaccine...?

So by telling our story we hope to make more people aware that there is not only a hot controversy over, but that there is indeed a dark side, to immunizations.  I will not go into details about the dark side except to say, mercury... formaldehyde... Thimeroseal... tissue from aborted babies... Robert Kiyosaki says, "If you want to find the source of a problem, follow the money."

So realize that this is more than just an issue over parents being lazy, irresponsible, difficult, or stupid.  It's a full-blown can of worms, and when you open it you may just faint from the toxic smell.

A Multiplicity of Healings!

God has brought us such a long way in such a short time!  We are no longer living in the 5th wheel rv; we are in what may as well be a mansion to us - a beautiful 3-bedroom, 2 bath apartment!  Emily has her own room (with a door!), Andrew has his own room (with a door!), we have a washer and dryer IN our apartment, our puppy is back with us, our stuff is once again all in one location.  I LOVE OUR HOME!

We are still a one-car family, but our one car is now a NEW car (a slightly used new car), that runs so smoothly, and has air conditioning, and just enough room in the trunk for Randall's equipment.  He rushed right out and had his Okie Bugs logo put on it - looks great!  Makes him feel so much more professional.  Me - I'm just relieved to have air conditioning this summer!

The health problems i dealt with for 8 months are finally healed because i had surgery at the end of February.  I like to say that i finally have my life back; Randall likes to say he has his wife back.

We made it through the first year of a new business - ALL praises to the Lord! - and are looking forward to a busy busy bug season over the next 6 months.

On February 8 we also celebrated our 20th year of marital bliss, the same day we moved into our apartment.  So since we spent the whole day (actually several days) moving we really didn't get to "celebrate" in a way that i had always pictured celebrating a milestone like 20 years. But it's impossible for me to complain about that when i am married to a man who can stand by me with such patience and devotion during those health problems i mentioned above.  I simply don't know why God gave me such an amazing husband.  Gratefulness and thankfulness does not begin to cover it.

Life is certainly not perfect for us, as it's not for anyone, but God has given us a respite from the trials and adversity we've been straining under the weight of for the last 2 1/2 years, particularly the last year, and most especially the last 5 months.  The thing is, during the months that i was processing all the epiphanies and revelations from our hardships in Italy i was so confounded by God's amazing-ness that i told Him repeatedly,  "Let's do it again, Lord!  Next time i'll trust You more."  Well, we did do it again, only not in Italy like i had pictured, but right here in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  I knew the whole time we were going through such oppressive adversity that this was something of a test to see if i would trust Him, and i'm so relieved to say i did.  I think i've learned that lesson - at least for now.  I pray i NEVER forget it - that just because we have trials, tribulations, suffering or adversity in our lives does not mean that God has abandoned, betrayed, or forsaken us.

A precious lady at church who was suffering with shingles told me one day last fall that during times when the pain was particularly unbearable she would say over and over again, "Thank You, Lord, for this pain", because she didn't want satan to have any triumph over her trials.  Wow!!!  I'm all about not giving satan any credit, so every day that i looked into our post office box and no checks were there to pay the bills or put gas in the car, i would say, "Thank You, Lord, for this empty mailbox."  I can honestly say i did not feel thankful; it was enough to put me in a bad (no - foul -) mood.  But i said it anyway to remind myself that we are to "Consider it a great joy whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." (James 1:2-3) During other moments when it seemed impossible to take another step or another breath i would say out loud, "I trust You, Jesus. I trust You, Jesus."

So my life right now is wrapped up in giving my children the stability and routine they've lacked for several months, as well as chasing my never-ending quest for simplicity.  And overflowing with thankfulness for my home, family, and church. And i will praise the Lord for bringing us through the fires, and i will praise Him for the times of refreshment.

Life in the Playhouse

Church mice – again.

Short background:  many reading this are not aware that we’ve been living in a fifth-wheel RV since November 10, 12 weeks so far.  Through Andrew’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Randall’s birthday, and New Years and through periods of much rain and much cold, (though thankfully, not as much of either as what it could have been considering that it IS winter.)  At the time of posting this blog, we’re hoping to move into an apartment any day!

So much of what we’ve been going through in the last 3 months is reminiscent of our 3 months in Italy.  Even down to the fact that we are once again church mice, this time living behind the church instead of above it.  Every single day is a struggle, often a MAJOR struggle.  It seems that EVERYTHING is a struggle and ALMOST nothing is making sense.  I almost always feel like we look like idiots so keeping focused on what’s really important can be difficult.

So what exactly is it like living in an RV?  I’m sure many of you reading this have gone on vacations in an RV, so you would be familiar with it on a short-term basis.  Extend that familiarity to 3 months.  With 2 children.  Specifically a 16-year-old girl and a 9-year-old boy who can be like oil and water.  Sounds like a blast, doesn’t it?

For those of you who have never set foot in an RV, let me give you a tour!  To start with, think of a room in your house that is about 38 feet by 10 feet, or 380 sq. feet.  Some of you have kitchens that size, or bathrooms, or closets…. Now add furniture.

Picture having to go outside and fill up the water tank every day so that you can have water to shower, flush the toilet, and wash dishes (some of you RV experts will wonder about this one – normally this is not a necessity if you’re hooked up to a city water supply, which we are, but there’s a pressure problem).  Every time you flush the toilet, you have to step on the pedal to fill up the bowl 3 times to shove everything through properly, so it doesn’t get hung up.  You sure don’t want THAT to happen!  The “black water” tank has to be emptied on a regular basis, for us it’s usually once a week, and that means hooking the hose up to the sewer connection and flushing it on out.  

Propane is the primary heating source.  When you use it for heating the RV, the tanks have to be refilled every few days, which runs about $25 each tank.  After about a month of this nonsense, we bought 2 space heaters, a small one for our itty-bitty bedroom, and a larger one for the other, main room.  Now we only have to fill the tank about twice each month.

Speaking of our itty-bitty, cozy bedroom, I have not measured our mattress.  My queen sheets are a little too big for it, and I’m sure full size would be too small.  Randall & I are not tall people at all, but our feet hang off the end of the bed when we stretch out.

Emily & Andrew both sleep in the only other place available for them – the main room.  Emily sleeps on the sofa bed, which sags in the middle, and Andrew sleeps on an air mattress that is just his size, at the foot of Emily’s bed.  So every night they get their beds out, and every morning they put them away.

Our playhouse has no internet, so when we need to get online we have to walk over to the church.  Or go to Barnes & Noble or Starbucks.  And speaking of life outside the playhouse, our “area” is surrounded by a chain link fence with a gate that must stay locked because of church property and a cell phone tower within the fence.  We like to refer to it as living in a “gated community,” except there is no automatic gate to open from the comfort of your car.  No, that would be far too easy.  Instead, you must get out of your warm car, open the combination lock, PUSH WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT to open the gate, get back in said warm car, pull through, get out of warm car, PUSH WITH EVEN MORE MIGHT to close the gate and lock the lock (hopefully without smashing your fingers), get back in warm car, and drive 30 yards to front door of playhouse. It’s really invigorating to do it in a cold rain or when the wind-chill is in the single digits! 

All this said, it only takes one bitterly cold night (which we’ve had many of lately), or seeing someone holding up a “homeless” sign at an intersection to know how good we’ve got it.  The fact is, we can cook (we have a full kitchen, just in miniature, sans dishwasher or garbage disposal, naturally), take a shower, go to the bathroom and watch DVD movies on the 2 TVs (not in the bathroom) all in a warm dry place.  Andrew has the largest “yard” to run & play in that he’s ever had, and that’s just within our fenced area – beyond the fence are a couple of fields.  And we are relatively safe.

So, the BIG QUESTION YOU HAVE… why are we subjecting ourselves to this “misery”, you ask?  Having an infant business, as Okie Bugs will be one-year-old next month, does not usually allow one to make a decent living.  We have made it through our first year with no debt, and me getting a job to help out has not been a possibility due to the health problems I had last fall.  We made the decision to move out of our duplex and into the RV in order to be financially responsible.  No, we were not evicted; nor did we leave anyone hanging.  We just needed a few months to “catch up,” make sure we can still be in business this spring, and honor God with our finances.  It seems that so many people these days choose debt over sacrifice and end up worse off in the long run.  We have always chosen to walk a different road than many of our peers, being drastic when we need to be and trusting God with our today, not our credit cards.  Our children have been learning how to manage their finances and know how valuable a Dollar is (despite what so many think it’s worth, or not). We have been reminded (once again) that there is more to life than ‘stuff’ and will appreciate simple things more.  In the future, as we distance ourselves from this chapter i know we’ll look back and see the humor more than the sarcastic mumble we carry today.  

Despite what others think when they witness our struggle as heavenly discipline or self-inflicted, we just long to hear the words of Jesus "Well done good and faithful servant."  He is our redeemer and He will defend us.

Sherry